Building trust with one's horse or horses takes time. And it's an important step. I can only share what I have learned over the years and maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but it has for me. I believe my mares trust me, but it didn't happen overnight. It took years. I know in my heart of hearts that the redheaded Misty mare would do anything for me. She trust's me to keep her safe and the feeling is mutual. Kola, I'm still working on, but then again Kola has only been with for just two years now, but we are getting there. Just this morning, the deal was no pasture until haltered. Misty complied easily and Kola wasn't too bad, but then I needed to lead her around the fence to get to the pasture gate. Silly thing confused herself and I probably did a "no,no" by simply leading her by the halter rather than using a lead and as we rounded the corner by the arena gate, she spooked and jumped slightly towards me. The beauty bit was that I was able to stop her and let her collect her thoughts and she trusted me to do so. She did not tear down the paddock dragging me along with her. She easily could have. She did not rear or buck, just a little jump and a hard look at the scary post and a trust to listen to my stop and carry on without running me over or stepping on me. A nice slow continued walk toward the pasture gate with the distance of my arm.
I speak soft and gentle to my girls. Firm, when necessary. I still need to be alpha and expect respect for my space. Low tones for capturing attention. There is no need to shout. I can pick up feet in the middle of the pasture without a lead and they will allow me. Kola is actually better at that than the Misty mare. Misty will carry my unbalanced self pretty much anywhere.
I am in no way a trainer. Can't even imagine the knowledge that takes. Nor am I an advice giver, however, I'll listen to any one's advice. I may not follow it always, but I will mull it over. I just listen to my girls and what they are saying to the best of my ability. I try and listen to their moods. I believe that they trust me to keep them from danger, trust me to care for them. I know I have Misty's trust and I have 75% more trust from Kola than I did two years ago, but we are getting there and I trust that we will.
I really believe before you get what you want from your horse, you must build trust and that does take time.