Thursday, January 15, 2009

On A Lighter Note................

Thinking of dating a horsewoman? Please read the following carefully:

Easy to Locate.- She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.

Upholds the double standard - Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when a man needs a shave.

Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.

A social butterfly - providing the party is given by another horsey woman. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.

Economy minded - Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or manicures.

A culinary perfectionist - Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.

Occasionally amorous - but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of chapstick.

Easy to outfit - No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tackstore.

Features a selective sense of smell - Bitterly complains about the sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.

Unmistakable in a bathing suit - She's the one whose tan starts at the
nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists.

A dedicated club woman - as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.

Has your leisure at heart - Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself into mud.

A master at multiplication - She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.

Keeps an eagle eye on the budget - Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.

An Engaging conversationalist - Can rattle on endlessly about training or breeding.

Socially aware - Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.

A moving force in the family - House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)

Easy to please - A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever.

Sentimental fool - Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.

Shows her affection in unusual ways - If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you.


Midlife Mom said...

LOL! That is so cute and so true! My husband is always telling someone that you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl and he's right! I wouldn't have it any other way. :o)

Very cold here too and dropping all the time. Only another day or so of it and then it's supposed to warm up a bit. Even too cold to snowmobile! :o(

Have a great weekend Callie!

Callie said...

Thanks, Midlife, Had a giggle at this, and my husband sort of giggled but growled a bit too, LOL!

kdwhorses said...

ROTFL!!! So true, so true!!!!!!!

Wouldn't change it for the world! Hubby swears he is below the horses on my favorite list! He says I'm okay I know the horses come first, at least I know they are well taken care of! :O

Thanks for sharing!

Grey Horse Matters said...

Very funny Callie. My husband thinks he comes in a close second to the horses and dogs, he's wrong of course...

Vaquerogirl said...

Sounds like that could have been written specifically for me- or YOU! Ah sometimes the truth just hurts!

Victoria Cummings said...

I wouldn't dare show this to my husband. He's been thinking about starting a Husbands United Against Horses coalition. Right now, he's just on strike - no barn work if it's under 35 degrees. Hope you're all doing okay with this cold - I've got no reason to complain compared to you guys!

Laura said...

Too funny - alot of them are true too!

I've actually patted the hubby and told him "good boy"... Luckily he has a good sense of humour...!