Thinking of dating a horsewoman? Please read the following carefully:
Easy to Locate.- She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.
Upholds the double standard - Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when a man needs a shave.
Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.
A social butterfly - providing the party is given by another horsey woman. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.
Economy minded - Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or manicures.
A culinary perfectionist - Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.
Occasionally amorous - but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of chapstick.
Easy to outfit - No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tackstore.
Features a selective sense of smell - Bitterly complains about the sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.
Unmistakable in a bathing suit - She's the one whose tan starts at the
nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists.
A dedicated club woman - as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.
Has your leisure at heart - Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself into mud.
A master at multiplication - She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.
Keeps an eagle eye on the budget - Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.
An Engaging conversationalist - Can rattle on endlessly about training or breeding.
Socially aware - Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
A moving force in the family - House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)
Easy to please - A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever.
Sentimental fool - Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.
Shows her affection in unusual ways - If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you.